Your Fifty Shades of Grey Survival Guide

Your best friend is reading it. Your mom is reading it. Hell, every woman in the world is reading it. I first laid eyes on it in Target. There it was: a picture of a necktie with a catchy and intriguing title. I’ll admit I’d actually never heard of it (gasp) and I didn’t even notice it (what?!) until John pointed it out to me and mentioned he’d heard about it on the radio and thought I might enjoy it. Fifty Shades of Grey, the first book in E.L. James’ oh-so-popular trilogy. I picked it up, scanned the back, thought “hmmm…” and placed it back on the shelf.

I surfed over to Amazon the next day to see what this Fifty Shades of Grey was all about and subsequently found a slew of reviews cursing its existence. While some reviews did hold some truth (yes, Ana does smirk, giggle, and bite her lip fifty thousand times), at the end of the day I’m still glad I read the book.

So, without further ado, here’s everything you need to know about Fifty Shades before reading…

This book is not a literary wonder. People aren’t reading it because the author is an amazing writer who presents a story so compelling that it changes your world view. Honestly, E.L. James is in desperate need of a thesaurus. It is, however, an edgy love story about a millionaire, a virgin, and their journey into BDSM sex (come on you know that sounds like a good read).

It won’t change your life. I’m not sure where people would get this idea or feel that this book is capable of saving a relationship/marriage. It’s just a quick and saucy read about two people trying to compromise on an alternative lifestyle together and the obstacles they face as a result.

This will never happen to you. Sorry! Christian Grey: he’s sexy, he’s rich, he’ll buy you an Audi, and he’s seriously dark. He’s the erotic romance equivalent of Edward Cullen (Fifty Shades is apparently Twilight fan-fiction). But let’s face it: the chances of a CEO millionaire inviting you into this type of relationship taking place in the “playroom” of his swanky apartment are incredibly low. This man isn’t real, ladies!

There is a ton of sex (obviously). It’s a huge part of the story, but sometimes it gets boring. Ana and Christian don’t really do much together besides have sex, so be prepared for some form of a sexual encounter every 2-5 pages.

Don’t let yourself stop after the first book. Ana and Christian continue to progress and develop much more in the subsequent books. You’ll learn why Christian is the way he is, more secrets about his past, and there are more exciting twists and turns.

Bottom line: this is an edgy read about BDSM in which Ana’s innocence and Christian’s secrecy weave an intriguing love story. Your life won’t change after you’ve read it, although it may inspire you to try a few new tricks (ha, ha, ha). So go on, read it. After all, you don’t want to be the only one at girls’ night who can’t contribute to the inevitable conversation about it!

5 thoughts on “Your Fifty Shades of Grey Survival Guide

  1. Cassie

    I love that you wrote “this will never happen to you.” I feel like I need to be told that about every book I read. PS. Your polka dot background is too cute.

  2. lffashionable

    I love this! I have not read the books yet. I still don’t know if I want to. I feel like you’re doing women a public service by posting this! It should get out to as many women as possible! Also, I must say, I love your writing style! Very personable!

    1. twenty-something Post author

      Thanks! I’m glad you find it helpful 🙂 I recommend you read the books. Like I said, they wont change your life but the story itself is very interesting. Definitely a good trilogy to read poolside during the summer!

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