“We’re not losers, we’re grown ups”

After a hard day of labor putting a fence up in our backyard, this is the exact phrase John said to me after I told him we were losers for being exhausted at 9pm on a Saturday night. We had big plans for the evening, first we’d get as much work done as we could, make dinner, have a few beers and watch Drive. Instead, we worked our butts off, ate dinner and promptly passed out on the couch around 8:30. We both stumbled into the bathroom to get ready for bed and as soon as 9pm rolled around, we were both sound asleep.

Just a few years ago, I lived for Saturday nights. Every Saturday morning began the same way: texting friends about where we were going that night. I loved getting ready, going out and meeting new people every weekend, but once I got a full time job and became responsible for more than school supplies and utility bills that changed pretty quickly. In a way, graduating college was my rude awakening to life.

The first few months were awkward as I searched for a “real” job that would allow me to actually pay all of my expenses on time, but without that real job I still felt like a college kid. And I definitely still acted like one. It only took one night of weekday drinking once I landed my full time job to teach me working hung-over was never going to work in corporate America. As time went by, I spent more and more Saturday nights away from the bar and instead chose to stay home for a relaxing night in.

At first I thought this sudden change meant I wasn’t fun anymore, or that there was nothing to do on Saturday nights besides going out. So many people my age were still partying every weekend but I felt like I’d suddenly outgrown that stage of life in a matter of months.

Fast forward to now. Moments before passing out on that Saturday night, John muttered how he was sorry that I was all cooped up in the house on a Saturday night going to sleep so early. My response to him was the absolute truth. There is no place in the world I’d rather be than going to bed at 9pm on a Saturday night after a hard day of home improvements with the man I love. And as I grow up, I realize that staying in on a Saturday night doesn’t make me a loser at all. Sometimes there’s nothing better than a “grown up” night in with someone you love.

How has your weekend ritual changed as you’ve grown up? Did you have a difficult time transitioning from college student to working adult?

27 thoughts on ““We’re not losers, we’re grown ups”

  1. champydreamsboxedwinebudget

    Such a cute post! I totally understand. I used to go out 4 nights a week and now I’m lucky if I make it out on Friday AND Saturday. I always feel like such a loser when I don’t go out but sometimes it’s so much nicer to order in food and watch a movie. Plus, I feel like I’ve aged 10 years over the past few months! Having a full-time “grown up” job is exhausting! I don’t have the stamina anymore haha! xx

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      Glad you can relate! And I’m glad I’m not the only one struggling to make it out on the town anymore. Honestly, I don’t know how I ever made it 2am when I used to go out all the time. Is that sad??

      Reply
  2. Style Journey

    You have a great perspective on this. I would much rather hang out at home than be out with a bunch of drunken fools (although sometimes those are fun too). I feel you on being exhausted with putting in a fence. My hubby and I installed our privacy fence all by ourselves. It took from Memorial Day to Labor Day to get it done due to our work schedules, etc, and it was some exhausting work, but it was worth every bit of feeling like a loser, ha ha! Heather

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      Haha true! I’ve actually found that I enjoy going out way more when it happens because it’s so infrequent now. But given the choice, I prefer staying in over going out these days. It’s just fun to relax and watch a movie instead of trying to yell at friends/John in a crowded noisy bar. We got our fence done within about 2 weeks but man was it tiring! It was totally worth it for us too, now our dog Bally has a safe place to run and play off leash with us!

      Reply
  3. jennacwest

    Thank you for writing this, it is so nice to know that I am not the only one out there who feels this way. My Saturday nights have changed in the exact same way, while most of my friends (who are still in school) are getting ready to go out, I am getting ready to cuddle next to the boyfriend and watch a movie. After working all week while still trying to juggle your daily chores and taking care of yourself, going out to a bar seems to be the last thing we want to do. While some people/friends don’t understand and claim you are lame or even a bad friend cause you don’t want to go out, can bring you down to think “yeah I am a loser”. But who would be labled a loser when they have a fulltime job, responibilities, and higher priorities than going out. So Amen Sister!

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      It’s definitely a priority thing. When you’re in school you don’t have to worry about work/rent/etc so it’s only natural to want to go out and party all the time. But once you’re out and working in the real world you learn quickly that it just isn’t as fun anymore. And I agree – having all of those things makes you the opposite of a loser. I still go out from time to time but my priorities are definitely MUCH different now than they were in college.

      Reply
  4. Always Maylee

    You are spot on! For my husband and I, staying in on a Friday/Saturday night together is our favorite. We would so much rather lay on the couch, watch a movie, and eat junk food than make plans to go out. And we are perfectly fine with it. 🙂

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      Same with John and I! We love curling up on the couch and watching a movie or making dinner together. A lot of people would probably call that boring, but for us it’s always something we look forward to.

      Reply
  5. albucco10

    You literally to the words right out of my mouth! I’m lucky these days if I go out at all on the weekend. I’m sometimes kick myself for it: I’m living in the greatest city in the world, I’m young–I should be going out and having fun, no? Well, I’m either zapped of energy, or spending time with someone I care a lot about–things just aren’t the same yelling across the bar to one another or friends. I think it’s just another sign of growing up, but it’s definitely not a bad thing. As for John, anyone you can do the big AND the little things with–as well as fall asleep at 9pm on a Saturday–is a keeper.

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      I totally agree Alyssa. John and I definitely still get out and about, but it’s not the same “out” as it was for me a couple years ago. Now going out means hitting a local restaurant or event and still being home by 9 or 10. And a Friday or Saturday night in can be just as relaxing and fun if not more fun than going out. And to your last point, yes, he is a total keeper 🙂

      Reply
  6. fizzandfrosting

    My weekends now are night and day from my college days, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We still go out on Saturdays occasionally but I honestly much prefer being low-key and waking up fully refreshed on Sunday mornings!

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      Same with me! I actually love the fact that I am up and ready for the day by 8-9am on the weekends. The days are longer and I feel like I have so much time to get all of my weekend errands done while still having plenty of time to unwind.

      Reply
  7. Rachel

    I would take a relaxing night with my boyfriend over almost anything. I go out on the weekends sometimes, but when I do I’m usually forced for someone’s birthday, an event, or I promised someone already! haha I agree 100% with your post!

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      I can definitely relate. Even when I don’t have a busy week at work, I’m always exhausted by the weekend and love taking the time to relax and unwind at home. Every once in a while we’ll go out for date night or drinks, but it’s so much more fun when it happens infrequently.

      Reply
  8. Pearls & Lace

    I love this Stephanie! I couldn’t have put this in better words myself! I completely agree, mine and my husband’s weekends sound very similar to yours and I wouldn’t change it for anything 🙂

    xo jen

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      Thanks Jen! I feel like it’s just something that happens when you get older. Your desire to go out becomes less and less and I’m totally fine with that. I love staying in!

      Reply
  9. Ali W.

    hahaha I love this. I feel the exact same way so often! I am so glad you wrote about the going to bed early on Saturday thing. I so agree. haha

    Reply
  10. heatherdawn

    My husband always reminds me of this when I tell him we used to be so much cooler! Every so often, when I’m falling asleep at 9:30 at night, or turning down a fun activity, I’ll apologize for being a boring wife. He always reminds me he’d rather be going to bed early with me than having a fun night with people that don’t really care. And as far as home improvement projects – remodeling our house this month has probably been the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done! I totally am with you on that!

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      Aw, I’m glad you can relate! I love being at home relaxing, I just don’t have the stamina for going out all the time anymore. Wow, a home remodel sounds exhausting. We’re starting to plan our patio project for early next year (the fence was just the beginning) and I know that is going to be a huge project.

      Reply

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