Understanding Women…for Dummies: The Man’s Guide

Last night, my wonderful source of inspiration (John) and I got to discussing the differences between men and women and what we don’t understand about each other.  He mentioned that the difference could be directly related to a funny picture I’d shown him in which the daily diary of a dog and cat were imagined and put next to each other.  The real correlation is in the thought…men are straightforward where women generally overanalyze every situation and come up with hundreds of different meanings for any given sentence a man speaks (when really, he just meant exactly what he said). We both shared things we didn’t understand about each other, and learned a lot from the talk. As a result, I decided to craft this quick guide for men to help them understand us:

1. We talk about you all the time, and assume that you do the same thing. Get 2 women together and the main topic of conversation will always be men and relationships. Because we always talk about men and relationships, we wrongfully assume you talk to your friends about relationships and us just as often.

2. Sex is never meaningless to us. It doesn’t matter what we tell you, we’re lying. Once sex is involved, so are our emotions and we become invested in you. We are masters at masking our emotions and true thoughts and might tell you we’re “cool” with the situation, but really we’re just hoping for a real relationship and most likely have already developed feelings for you.

3. We have a secret language. OK, you’re getting pretty good at figuring this one out but I’ll share it anyway.

“Nothing” = Always something.
“Fine” = I’m right and you’re wrong but I’m too lazy to continue arguing
“Whatever” = You’ve really pissed me off now.
“Does this dress make me look fat?” = Compliment me or else.
“Are you listening?” = I know you weren’t so I’m going to point it out to you. PS-I’m mad.
“Ill be ready in five minutes” = Get comfortable we’re going to be here awhile.

4. Fat days are real. We know this is a difficult female phenomenon to understand, but all you need to know to survive one of these days with us is to give us compliments and make us feel pretty. Also, it would be wise of you to never start an argument on one of these days.

5. A romantic gesture goes a long way. At the end of the day, we really just want your attention and affection. Doing anything somewhat romantic will go a long way with us and score you major brownie points. We love doing things for you, so when it’s reciprocated it makes us feel really good.

6. We get dressed for other women, not necessarily just for you. Why do we spend hours getting dolled up to go out? Why do we put on makeup just to go to the grocery store? We know you love us despite appearance (hence why we wear sweatpants and shirts with no bra around the house with you), but when it comes to going out in public we get dolled up simply so we can partake in the silent competition that goes on between all women. Who has the cutest shoes, hair, dress, makeup, etc.

See, we’re not so impossible after all! Ladies, what am I forgetting? Men, what else confuses you about women? Looking forward to reading your comments!

9 thoughts on “Understanding Women…for Dummies: The Man’s Guide

  1. Bhanu Prasad Karmacharya

    was that all I was missing ???
    quite thoughtful with this blog………..

    But I do always have question, When i said what i mean even why there remained some issues that I mean not the words or sometimes, even much more than what I mean……… (most times in a far negative patterns) I think I really never could have understood this.


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