Are you a priority or an option?

I find it so fascinating how life sends us little reminders from time to time. You know, like when you’re having a bad day and then the sky opens up and the sun shines down on you and you have that “aha” moment? I had one of those yesterday, and it came in the form of this quote:

“Never make someone a priority when they only make you an option.”

I’ve always been the nurturing, motherly type in relationships–not just romantic ones, but friendships also. I love doing things for other people to make them feel good, because seeing other people happy makes me happy. I always put others first, but I learned the hard way that making someone a priority didn’t always mean they would reciprocate.

Now, seeing this quote, I realize how much I have grown. I wouldn’t change a thing about the past and any pain I’ve felt, because without it I certainly wouldn’t be where I am now. And where I am now is a great place, ladies and gents. I am surrounded by SO many people who make me a priority, not an option, each and every day. I wanted to use this post to thank all of those incredible people in my life who always make me number one.

Mom-
You are my rock, and I am the woman I am today because I had such an amazing role model growing up. You are the strongest, kindest, and most beautiful person I know, and you’re also an amazing best friend. Thank you for always being there for me, through the good and the bad!

Dad-
I am so thankful that we’ve been able to build our relationship so strong throughout the past couple of years. I love spending time with you and I am so happy that you’ve finally found happiness again with such a great wife. You inspire me everyday and I admire your courage. Thanks for always putting me first.

Amy-
You are the best sister I could have ever asked for. You are an amazing best friend and there’s nothing better than sharing things with a sister. You’ve become such a fantastic young woman and I can’t WAIT to see you continue to grow. Thanks for being so supportive of me, twin.

John-
Words can’t express what you and our relationship mean to me. You’ve taught me so much about life and love, and you always put others before yourself. You have completely changed my life and made me GLOW with happiness. Thank you for making me the luckiest girl in the world everyday.

Candace and Kara-
Even 1,000 miles away you two are the best friends in the world. We may not get to talk everyday, but I know in my heart there is nothing that could ever tear us three apart. You two know me inside and out and there are things I’ve shared with you that I’d never share with most people. Thanks for being the most wonderful girlfriends a girl could have, I miss and love you both so much!

I urge you to surround yourself with people who make you a priority in life, instead of an option. Rid yourself of people who don’t make you feel good about yourself and instead seek out the ones who bring out the best in you.

Who are you thankful for?

31 thoughts on “Are you a priority or an option?

  1. crazystylelove

    What a fantastic question. As adults, we have such busy lives and so much going on. I discovered a few years ago that I have very limited time, so I only want to spend that time with the people who mean the most to me, and who value our friendship as much as I do.

    xo Jenny
    http://www.crazystylelove.com

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      So true. I wasted a lot of time caring for people who just didn’t put in the same effort, but I’ve learned to surround myself with people who love me just as much as I love them. I may only have a few friends, but I know that those few friends care about me and value me just as much as I do them, and that’s what matters most!

      Reply
  2. mollystillman

    love love love this. my circle of friends has, sadly, somewhat dwindled in the last few years – but it’s because i just wanted to surround myself with people i truly LOVE and love ME back! such a great post!

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      Mine too. I have very few friends, but I’ve learned that doesn’t matter. It’s much more about the QUALITY of your relationships than the quantity. Sometimes it can be hard to let go of those people in our lives who just don’t put us first, but life is so much better when you’re surrounded by people who put forth just as much effort for you as you do for them!

      Reply
  3. Danielle

    I think that one of that hardest things to learn and accept. There are people in our lives we will realize that we’ll never be a priority for. You either need to accept it as it is or move on. Like the other commenters said, it’s best to focus your time on the ones who do appreciate you! 🙂

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      I agree Danielle, it can be very hard to let go, and even harder to face the fact that someone you really truly love and care about will just never put your first. But once you do let go and move on and understand these things, it’s so much easier to form great relationships with amazing people!

      Reply
  4. Sue

    I have loved watching you grow into who you are. You are amazing and I cherish our mother/daughter relationship and our wonderful friendship. I love our open and honest conversations. You and Amy are the best part of me! Friendships do come and go, and I have learned that just having a few great friends is such a blessing…and the fact that you like hanging out with my friends :). My true friends are a very small group, but I know we are there for each other. What would I do without my mom, Mary, Christe, Michele, Robbin, Amy L, Joyce, and Christy? I lost a great friendship long ago that I worked so hard to maintain. It was hard to understand that it wasn’t going to continue…hard lesson to learn.
    You are the best!

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      I cherish it too!! With friends, it’s way more about quality than quantity, we have both learned that. It’s hard to leave a friendship behind but sometimes it just has to happen. YOU are the best and I love you so much!

      Reply
      1. Sue

        I agree with the quality! So much better. And of course I limited my comments to being about girlfriends. They know you as no one else does. Dave is definitely my best friend..talk about someone being here for me! Such an amazing feeling!

        Reply
  5. amy

    what a great blog post as tribute to those you love. I love it. I also agree, as we get older I think we start to realize who matters and is there for us and who never really was. I know its something Ive been going through too. Its hard to say goodbye to people who aren’t there with the best intentions, but afterward, you end up with better people surrounding you. http://coffeebeansandbobbypins.blogspot.com//

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      Thank you, Amy! 🙂 And what you say is very true, we see things a lot more clearly as we age, relationships especially. Once you’ve rid your life of those people who aren’t a positive part of it, it’s easier to find people who are and surround yourself with them.

      Reply
  6. Always Maylee

    Totally agree! I have far fewer friends now than I did when I was younger (high school and college), but these are my closest friends and ones that I can always depend on and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My family is everything to me and now that I’m older and wiser, I try to spend lots of time with them because I want to, not because I have to. 🙂

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      I’m glad!!! Sometimes we don’t thank the ones we love enough 🙂 And thanks for adding me to your blogroll-what you had to say was so so sweet of you, it made me smile!

      Reply
  7. Alyssa

    What a sweet post Stephanie. I’m the same way as you–there was a point in time where I realized that a lot of people that I was making a priority, were not doing the same for me. While it was a tough feeling to come to terms with, it absolutely brought me closer to the positive relationships that already existed in my life. I’m so thankful with the people I’ve chosen to surround myself with now!

    -Alyssa
    The Glossy Life

    Reply
    1. twenty-something Post author

      Thank you Alyssa! It’s definitely super tough to realize/accept, but once you do it’s so much easier to appreciate the great people in your life and find some new ones.

      Reply
  8. Katie

    This is such a sweet post! I love reading about how much people love their family. My sister is my best friend too and it is such a blessing!

    Reply

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